Scout's 4th of July Address

Every Fourth of July, we celebrate the crossing of George Washington from Spain to a beautiful land named Wyoming. He was originally searching for a passage to Canada where he knew he would find spices and silks more delicious and beautiful than anything ever before tasted or seen. What George Washington found was even better- Firecrackers... Huge warehouses full of firecrackers that one could purchase and ignite for one's own enjoyment. Having never experienced such a place, George Washington wandered aimlessly around the store, filling his basket with only small bottle-rockets, (a beginners mistake) because they were so cheap and looked like fun. He was soon helped, however, by a young Native American named Abraham Lincoln. "Don't fill up on bottle-rockets," said the young Lincoln, "you need a variety... here, check out these water-proof M-80's and some roman candles!" Well, Abraham Lincoln invited George Washington to his Bar-B-Que that night, where there was lots of turkey, mashed potatoes and olives on the tips of everybody's fingers. To commemorate the great Bar-B-Que, which also included guests like the King of France, Thomas Jefferson and the CEO of Wal-Mart, Teddy Rosevelt, a statue was carved out of a mountain by Pablo Piccaso. The rest is History. Happy 4th of July!
By,
Samantha Scout Anderson